


Halloween Screams

by sgatazmy (Tazmy)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 09:39:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2542964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tazmy/pseuds/sgatazmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Wraith reaches Earth. Unfortunately for him, it is Halloween. (written in 2008)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Halloween Screams

**Author's Note:**

> I'm mostly posting new work here on AO3 but I wrote a lot of stories back in the day. I will occasionally post some of my favorites here. 
> 
> This was written back in 2008. Since today is Halloween, I figured it's a great time to post it. It's a silly humor story and I have no idea what I could possibly have been thinking.

The promise of juicy, fearful humans in enough numbers to feed all and leave plenty to spare was every Wraith's dream. Earth exemplified this ideal and so it was that every Wraith dreamed of landing on the distant planet.

While many Wraith devoted their lives to this quest, very few succeeded. Oh yes, there was one attack party that managed to make it through the gate, but none of them made it to the Earth's surface. None except for Sasquar.

It wasn't that Sasquar was more resourceful than the others, nor was he smarter. In fact, he belonged to the lowest class of Wraith. Thus it was only by pure chance that Sasquar touched down on Earth's soil. He owed his success to a series of coincidences which included crashing darts, incompetent guards, and other general madness.*

*(This was, of course, not the story that Sasquar would tell his queen. Even as he stepped foot on the new soil, he plotted how he would tell her of his daring attempt to stow aboard an Earth ship and how he fought and ate many humans in his determination to find a new feeding ground. She would be pleased with him and promote him into the highest class, allowing him to eat his fill at each culling.)

Earth, however, was not what Sasquar imagined. He expected all to run in fear at the sight of him. None of them did. A few pointed, yes, but none showed so much as an ounce of fear.

Stranger yet, the human's were different than the ones in Pegasus. Some wore cloaks and feigned injuries. Others tried to dress themselves as strange creatures, the likes of which Sasquar had never seen. One, unaware of who Sasquar was, even threatened to suck his blood.

Sasquar was at a loss. Food tasted better when it was afraid. While any of the human's would suffice as a meal, he wanted his first feast on Earth to be special. Special required terror.

"I can destroy you with a single touch," Sasquar threatened a human woman.

Much to his dismay, she laughed. "Amazing! You're absolutely brilliant!" she told him, clapping her hands enthusiastically. Beside her, a blond boy looked up at the Wraith with the widest blue eyes Sasquar had ever seen.

"You are not afraid of me?" He asked both of them.

"I'm not!" The boy called loudly, rolling his eyes. "That's just makeup."

"Of course we're afraid," the woman lied, nudging her son slightly. "That is the point, isn't it?"

Sasquar did think so, but he did not wish to be placated. "Very well," he sighed, continuing on his way.

He was unsure how long he wandered. The smell of human made his soul long for food, but still he refused to eat. Somehow he would get the fear he needed.

He walked and walked, his head held low. What would the queen say if she knew that human's did not fear him?*

*(His queen was already convinced of his incompetence. She'd tried to send him on a few suicide missions, but would probably finish him off herself after this debacle.)

He was just about to give up when he heard a terrifying scream. His hope renewed, Sasquar raced to the source. The closer he came the more screams he heard. There was fear here. Fear tainted with laughter perhaps, but definite fear!**

**(Laughter always left a bitter taste. Unfortunately, many of Sasquar's victims had died laughing—usually at him—and thus Sasquar was all too aware of laughter's affect on the feeding stock.)

There was a sign outside of the fear-filled building.. It read 'Slaughter Fest'. It did not say what was being slaughtered, but the fear was definitely from humans. Could it be that the people of Earth were disturbed enough to feed off of one another? After the many betrayals Sasquar had witnessed, he would not put it past them.

"That was awesome!" he heard someone say as a door flew open. Three boys appeared with grins on their faces, though the smallest of them was still shivering with fear. The tallest one held the smallest one's hand, while the middle one was busy reading some sort of bound manuscript.

"Let's go again!" the older one suggested.

The middle one shrugged and continued reading.

The youngest bit his lip, as though about to cry*, but then nodded his head vigorously.

*(Sasquar had seen many human children cry. It served to make his meals more tasty, but the added salt was more than Sasquar's body could handle. It often left him feeling ill the next day.)

As it turned out, there was a line of anxious humans all waiting to enter the dark house. None of them seemed worried. Yet Sasquar could see the steady flow of human's leaving, and he could still smell the fear on them.

He wanted to skip the line and pick out a few treats from those leaving, but decided to wait. While leaving this strange place, the humans' fear was waning. If he waited, perhaps he could catch them at the height of fear. The feast would be magnificent!

After a boring wait in which many children pointed at his costume in awe, and one even asked how he managed too make the teeth look so real, Sasquar finally made it to the front of the line. At last! he told himself, unable to contain his excitement. The fear would be glorious.

When Sasquar first entered The Slaughter House, he wasn't sure what to make of it. He had expected a savage display of human eating human. Instead, there were only more feigned injuries. While the blood looked real enough, the smell was all wrong. Sasquar began to wonder if there was a feast to be held here at all.

There were strange lights that flashed on and off in quick succession, fake screams and other strange sounds, but not one of the humans seemed afraid. So why did he sense fear before? It didn't make any sense whatsoever.

Then a costumed fool jumped out from the sidelines and screamed at them. The humans in Sasquar's tour group all screamed. Why? Sasquar couldn't say, but neither did he care. He plunged his arm into the chest of the nearest human and began to drink.

The woman's eyes bore into his with pure terror and Sasquar smiled.

"What the hell, man?" The costumed fool who had originally scared the group, tore off his mask.

Another man reached for Sasquar's arm and began to pull. With little effort, Sasquar pushed him into the cloud-making machine.

He feasted on the woman until she fell to the ground, the only real skeleton in a sea of plastic ones. The other humans began to run.

Ah, the fear! It was wonderful. More tasty than he could have imagined, and all the laughter was gone now. Human after human tried to stop him, but none could match a Wraith.

Sasquar raced forward in search of new victims, but The Slaughter House had emptied. News of the true monster must have spread quickly. Sasquar swelled with pride.*

*(Unfortunately this was Sasquar's final thought. Distracted by pride, he failed to notice the many uniformed men with very large guns waiting behind red and blue lights. Alas, a few years later another Wraith would claim the credit for being the first to land on Earth's surface and poor Sasquar would be forgotten.)

THE END


End file.
